Women Were Sold a Lot of Myths
Nice Girls Finish Last
Women Were Sold a Lot of Myths - Part 2
A classic study gave students an identical résumé under two names. Same competence rating. Wildly different verdict on likability and hireability.
You must be aware that researchers gave students the exact same résumé, identical achievements, identical wording. Half saw the name "Heidi." Half saw "Howard." Same competence rating. Wildly different verdict on whether anyone wanted to work with them.
English spotlight · Words for every level, B1 to C2
nice (adjective, B1) - kind and pleasant to be with.
Everyone said she was nice to work with.
Nice guys finish last (saying, B1) - people who are kind and polite lose to people who are tough.
He never asked for a raise, and he believes nice guys finish last.
come across as (phrasal verb, B2) - to seem a certain way to other people.
She came across as aggressive, even though she was polite.
negotiate (verb, B2) - to discuss something to reach an agreement, for example about your salary.
He negotiated a higher salary.
bias (noun, C1) - an unfair opinion for or against someone.
Hiring managers can have a bias without knowing it.
replication (noun, C2) - a repeat of a scientific study to check if the result is still true.
Later replications found smaller gaps.
The Claim
Being "nice" holds women back professionally. Drop the niceness, get assertive, and you'll finally get ahead like the confident men around you.
Upon Investigation
In a now-famous 2003 study, Columbia's Frank Flynn and NYU's Cameron Anderson took a real case study of a successful venture capitalist, Heidi Roizen, and gave half their students the case with her real name, and the other half the identical case with the name changed to "Howard."
Students rated Heidi and Howard as equally competent. Makes sense, same achievements. But Howard was seen as someone they'd want to work for and hire. Heidi was rated as selfish, aggressive, not someone they'd want on their team.
The advice to "stop being nice" assumes assertiveness costs women nothing extra. This study says it costs them exactly the thing they were told they'd gain: being liked, trusted, and hired.
The Contradiction
"Nice girls finish last" implies the fix is simple: be less nice, be more like a man, and you'll finish like one too. The Heidi/Howard result says the same assertive behavior gets read completely differently depending on whose name is attached to it. Dropping "niceness" doesn't level the field, it just trades one penalty for a different one.
The Human Question
A woman negotiates hard for a raise, exactly the way every career book told her to. She gets it, and also gets quietly labeled "difficult" by people who'd have called a man in the same meeting "a strong negotiator."
The Uncomfortable Question
If the same behavior earns a man respect and a woman a reputation, was "be less nice" ever actually the advice that was going to fix this?
The Other Side
This isn't proof that assertiveness never works for women, it clearly does, and plenty of women navigate this successfully every day. Some replications of Heidi/Howard-style studies, run a decade later, found smaller gaps than the original, suggesting real, if slow, cultural movement. The corrected point isn't "don't be assertive." It's that assertiveness alone doesn't erase a bias that has to be addressed separately, not just worked around individually.
The Verdict
Mostly misleading.
The advice isn't wrong that assertiveness matters. It's incomplete in a costly way, it puts the fix entirely on women's behavior, when the data shows the same behavior is being judged by two different rulebooks depending on gender.
The Reality Check
What does it promise? That dropping "niceness" for assertiveness removes the obstacle to getting ahead.
What does the evidence show? That identical assertive behavior gets rewarded in men and penalized in women, competence ratings held equal.
What should you do with the gap? Notice when you're judging someone's tone rather than their substance, and check whether you'd judge the same tone differently from someone else.
Quick Check
Tap to test yourself before you keep scrolling.
Reveal the answer
Question: What was the only thing that changed between the "Heidi" and "Howard" versions of the case study?
Answer: The name. The achievements and wording were identical, only the name attached to them changed.
For You
Think of the last time you called a colleague "difficult" or "aggressive." Would you have used that word if they had a different name?
An English Challenge
Write two or three sentences in the comments. Use at least two words from the English spotlight. Start with: "I think people sometimes ..."
See a model answer
I think people sometimes have a bias without knowing it. A woman can be assertive in a meeting, but she may still come across as difficult, while a man doing the same thing is called confident.
Want more English practice like this? Join Sue for lessons that take you from reading to speaking with confidence.
More articles
