Women's Month
The Likability Penalty - Fact 8
THE WOMAN PROJECT — Woman Fact 8
She wants more, and she says so out loud. That isn't a flaw to manage. That's exactly what leadership looks like.
READ IT
A colleague of mine got the promotion she'd worked years for. Within a week, she was called "difficult." A man got promoted the same month. He was called "driven."
Researchers call this the likability penalty. Confident, ambitious women are rated as highly competent, and studies find they're sometimes rated as less likable for it. Confident, ambitious men rarely face that same tradeoff. Researchers describe a double bind: showing ambition is exactly what makes a leader capable, yet women are the ones asked to apologize for having it.
Here's what deserves to be said, loudly, and without apology: wanting more is not a character flaw. It's proof of vision, drive, and self-respect. A woman who knows exactly what she wants, and says it plainly, isn't threatening anyone. She's simply leading.
SAY IT
Practice this phrase out loud today: "I want this, and wanting it makes me exactly the right person to get it."
THINK IT
Have you ever softened your own ambition out loud, said "I'm just hoping" instead of "I'm working toward"? What would it feel like to let your ambition be as big as it actually is?
CHALLENGE IT
Say one genuine ambition out loud today, to someone, at full size, no softening, no joke attached. Just the ambition, and the confidence behind it.
